Martin to represent Arabs

Puerto Rican pop flameout Ricky Martin has just announced that he is going to be the spokesperson for Arab youth, according to MSNBC. In a related story, this 24-year-old thin slice of Wonderbread was just named Executive Director of NAACAARP, a joint-venture of the NAACP and the AARP, and the answer to the question, “Y’all go fishin’ fer trout?” In other news, Ben Affleck has declared himself the spokesman for the Israeli youth, but the Israelis declined the declaration, instead declaring themselves Affleck’s mentor as they, unlike Affleck, know how to avoid bombs.