This just in...

I received some earth-shattering news today. Apparently, men have a hard time reading women. I didn't know this.

Science has been doing an excellent job proving what hack stand-up comedians have been saying for years. I suppose I should go run my regression analysis for my paper "Your Nuts!: Why airline food fails to meet expectations in quality, quantity, or accessability."

I'm sure I will live to regret my sarcasm when one day, I will be sitting in a coffee shop debating whether or not white people have any rhythm. I will be asked to cite scientific sources and will be unable to do so. I will surely think to myself "Why did I cancel my subscription to Duh! Monthly?"