If I don't post it, I'll forget it before I need to steal it

Girl #1: Oh my god. My boyfriend just cheated on me.
Girl #2: Holy shit! Which one?

Like misspelling GED

I just got an e-mail that says “Want to seem smarter? Get your dipluma!”

Read D. Spam

The best part about the spam that I get at work is the name that show up in the from field. Today alone, I have received e-mails from Relegated A. Murderer, Probing C. Timekeepers, and Deadpans E. Throughput. So the formula for spammer names is Verb-Initial-Noun; which makes me very suspicious of this e-mail I got from Bill H. Gates

Just a river in Egypt

If someone thinks that the philosophy that nothing exists does not exist, does that make him a denihilist?